Still a little sore

So I am sitting here having a usual day, about to eat my lunch. I am skimming through the "news" on msn.com and I come across a video that sounded cute and like such a great idea. I attached it below.

At first my heart (and eyes) swell with love and joy, because of how neat, wonderful and cute a brand new baby is. As I continued to watch this really great idea I started to get sad?? I kept glued to the screen watching the days go by. Some how subconsciously, I don't know, it became so sad I started crying. I tried to stop it, I even stopped the video, but the feelings were overwhleming. I cannot even explain why. It wasn't like words were flying through my mind or comparisons of Rissa's first year, but once I realized I had to let it out I did start to think and try to understand why such a beautiful thing would make me feel so sad.
I could almost say that I never feel sorry for us; Rissa, Rocky or myself. I don't feel worried about the future. She is healthy and strong now. In fact I just posted on a FB group page yesterday about how in so many ways that we are liberated because we don't HAVE to meet these standards...or at least we are not expected to meet them, we will meet them when the time comes.

Even as I finish writing this I think maybe it is normal? Realizing I won't be able to relive these moments with Rissa and that all we can do is move forward, that is a normal feeling. Maybe I am still a little sore from the pain of all we went thorugh? Maybe it is normal because there is just so much feeling, she is such a joy and she is progressing.

A Fathers Video