Cause You Understand

I write to you cause you understand
You relate
You somehow validate, without joining me
You correct me and keep me aligned
Recognizing that I need someone to understand,
But not someone to push me further into my abyss
Of loneliness
Easy and intellectual
I appreciate our friendship
Last night was a hard night for me
I roll into a stooper
Sometimes I fall in too deep
I reach for help
And there is no one there
Sometimes I grab on to someone
Whether it is wanted or not
Usually the next day I don't know what to think
Was I weak
Did they understand
Although I would like to say I don't care what people think
This is one of those times that I must say that I do care
Cause I am vulnerable
While I am trying to understand myself
Trying to justify my self loathing
Honestly all I am looking for is to feel good
About myself
About what I do
About my time invested
About my future
I am not biased
I am not closed
Except maybe to myself
I know that we are all similar in this regard
We want to be cared for, cared about
Most of all we want to care
If the feeling and energy could be described
I will do my best to try
I will use what I love most
Dance
There is this addiction that I have
That I am only able to feed on rare occasion
There are no barriers
There are no lies
Rhythm vibrates
Pulsates and triggers all the senses
The moves are automatic
There is no thought process
The feelings of color merge and mix with the smell of sweat
Everyone knows the language of dance
Hair down, body writhing, skin glistening
Deaf to everything but the music